He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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