No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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