I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
