I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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