If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
