im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
