i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
