you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
