let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
