Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize