She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
