found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
