how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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