Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
