Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
