I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
