I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
