I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
