Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
