This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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