You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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