Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
