you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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