I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
