im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You ate ashes out of my bong
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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