i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
