When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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