When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
