There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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