I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
