Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
