I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Help me help you realize you are a moron
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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