No subtext here. People are naked.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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