It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize