no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
