If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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