i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
