I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
