He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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