finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
