Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
