my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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