she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You pole danced in your parka.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
