im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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