I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
