after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
