Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
