He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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