I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
