I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
