u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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