You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
