Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
