His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
