If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
