So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
