I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
