He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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