I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
