Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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