no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
