at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
