Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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