Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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