so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Come see our sink grown plant.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
