Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just high enough for therapy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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