i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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