We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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