And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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