we're blogging at a bar
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
