What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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