dude i'm inner monologue high
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
